Generally speaking, parents try to parry questions from tiny tots even if they find time from their busy schedule and know for sure that children are waiting for them to answer their ‘hows’ and ‘whys’. Not only this, parents often see such questioning as impertinent. Suffice here to say that this is unfortunate situation. Curiosities of children must be attended to on priority, with proactive indulgence. Else, children grow up with false notions which blur their perceptions.
Children deserve complete and convincing answer
A common refrain these days is that children are going wayward. Copy cats that they are, they imitate modernity and cuddle idiot box for English movies and late night shows. And they don’t seem to have respect for their elders. For all this we have but our own escapism to blame. You mind your own business, and children do their own. This reigning concept has created all problems. Poet laureate Balkavi Bairagi said: Your children and my children are wiser and more practical than you and me put together. What really bothers you and me is this that we are reaping those fruits, whose seeds were sown by none other than you and me. Needless to say, children are not to blame. We ourselves chose not to love and play with children. This sets tone for miseries that follow.
A cursory look around us in enough to reveal such families who ignore or ridicule questions put up by their youngsters. Worse still, there are lot many who believe in reviling or brow-beating a child instead of answering his innocent questions. It is easy to visualise the kind of future that awaits children coming out from such households.
In a particular instance, a 5 year old poses a set of questions to his parents who express their inability to answer many of them. Naturally, his parents were frequently at their wits end because of child’s unending curiosities. Snubbed thus, child sought solutions from his elder brother—4 years senior to him. Obviously, a nine year old can’t be apt preceptor for a 5 year old. Unseemly impressions so acquired by youngsters persist with them for all the wrong reasons.
Parents who love their little ones, shouldn’t allow vanity to come between them and their children. Ostentations, be they related to religion or seniority, mar child-parents relationship. In fact half of the queries from children are of such nature as require study and contemplation for answer. Half baked answers serve no good. Rather, when child discovers truth of them in course of time, he thinks poor of his parents. Hence parents must pay proper attention to children’s curiosities and offer them tangible solutions.
Don’t pretend to be mr. know-all
Often it so happens that we are asked about things we ourselves don’t know. And we feel embarrassed in admitting ignorance. So, we put up a brave front before juniors, as if we know all. But as children grow up, they discover the sleight. And develop opinion that we (their parents) are as ignorant as others (not related to them). So it becomes of us to lay bare our ignorance in case we have no answer to the question put up. By so doing, parents will earn greater respect in the eyes of offsprings.
How about parents who love their children best as they can, but believe that attending to their chatter is waste of time? So they say with abandon—‘Grow up a little. Then you will know.’ Children are too young for some areas of erudition, they aver. Sadly though, children from such families refuse to grow up even past 18 years. They remain childish and phlegmatic to changes which must happen to them most naturally.
Psychologists put blame for such a scenario squarely on parents and guardians. For, far from slaking their thirst for knowledge, such elders keep slighting children for their infancy and lack of maturity. This naturally impedes unfolding of child’s personality. Such children, say experts, remain shy, shun their surroundings, and may even stammer in speech. All this thanks to their parents running rough-shod over their tender emotions.
Parents worth their salt must find time, fulsome at that, for attending to their children. Every question of their’s should be aptly answered. Beating about the bush won’t help. Listen to a child carefully. Should you be too busy for immediate attention, tell your little one that you would be available to him a short while after. Honest interface with children will guide you into so many ways bidding well for children.
Remember
❑ Today’s children are a class apart. Faster and wiser than ever before. A piece of chocolate can’t buy their loyalty. From their guardians they desire learning as well as a piece of their mind. And who knows, in desperation they may go to the extent of becoming their own guardians. Sample this. A child was reading a book titled ‘How to raise children effectively.’ Seeing this, father admonished, ‘This isn’t in your course, why read it then?’ The child reacted, ‘To make sure whether I am being brought up on right lines or not.’
❑ Working couple should spend their entire holiday with children. They may go scouting, or on picnic. Dinners should always be a get together for the household. This fosters bonhomie in family and promotes understanding between members of family.
❑ Seeing a palatial Mosque, a child exclaimed:
Such a big house?! And just for only one God!
