Chapter-6
I had to see Estella at once. So, I decided to stay at the Blue Boar inn, not with Joe. Next morning, I rang the bell at Miss Havisham’s gate and waited with a beating heart. I was lost in daydreaming. Miss Havisham had adopted Estella, so she would not adopt me as well. Her main purpose was to bring us together. She had planned to gift her a house to live in, to admit the sunshine into the dark rooms, to set the clocks going and the cold hearths ablaze, to tear down the cobwebs and to destroy the vermin—in short. In fine, she was trying her level best to do all the good deeds that would lead us to our marriage. Only then would I be able to marry the princess of my dream.
The gate opened and the porter stood there looking at me. He was the last person in the world that I expected to see. He was Orlick.
“Orlick” I exclaimed in surprise, “how did you come here?”
“On my legs,” he retorted.
“Are you here for ever?”
“I am not here for doing any harm,” said the exasperating creature.
I went through the dark passages to Miss Havisham’s room. Everything was just as it had always been. Miss Havisham sat in her usual chair. Beside her sat a very fine lady whom I did not know at once.
I looked at Miss Havisham in the old dress, with her two hands crossed on her stick, her chin resting on them and her eyes on the fire.
“You may come in, Pip,” said Miss Havisham. Then she muttered, “How do you do?”
She looked up at me suddenly, only moving her eyes.
The lady whom I had never seen before, lifted up her eyes and looked archly at me. Then, I saw that the eyes were Estella’s. She was so much changed. She was more beautiful and womanly. She had become more charming. I had made no advance over the years at all. I seemed to have slipped back into a common, coarse boy she had once called me.
But she gave me her hand. I stammered something about the pleasure I felt seeing her again.
“Do you find her much changed, Pip?” asked Miss Havisham.
“When I came in, Miss Havisham, I thought there was nothing of Estella in the face and figure. But now, it all settles down so well.”
Estella smiled with perfect composure.
“Is he changed?” Miss Havisham asked Estella.
“Very much,” said Estella looking at me.
“He has now turned less coarse and common?” asked Miss Havisham.
Estella laughed. She still treated me as a boy, but she led me on. We sat down a while talking, till Miss Havisham sent us out to walk in neglected garden. There, we talked for long hours.
We talked about the old days and about the fight that I had there with Herbert.
“Now, we have become good friends,” I said.
“Since your change of fortune,” she said, “I have come to know that you have changed your companions.”
“Yes, you are absolutely right,” I said.
“And what was fit company for you once, would be quite unfit now,” said Estella.
I wondered with a twinge of conscience, whether or not I should go round to see Joe. At last, I decided against it.
I reminded Estella that she had given me meat and drink at that place. But she stated that she didn’t remember. “Do you know how you made me cry?” I said to her.
“No,” she said and added, “You must know that I have no heart.
I took the liberty of thinking that there could be no beauty without heart.
“Oh!” said she, “I have a heart to be stabbed in or shot at. But you know what I mean. I have no softness, no sympathy, no sentiment.”
What was it I was thinking so hard about as I watched her stand still and look so attentively at me? Some of her looks and gestures resembled Miss Havisham’s. It was like the resemblance that is acquired by children to grown-up people with whom they have been associated for long. Still, the resemblance to Miss Havisham was not so strong.
“I am serious,” said Estella, breaking in on my thoughts.
“If we are to be thrown much together, you had better believe what I say at once,” added Estella.
I was about to speak when she stopped with and added, “I have never loved anyone.”
Soon, we reached the brewery. She showed me the high gallery where I had watched her going out on the very first day. She stated that she remembered that day when I had looked standing below. I was scared a lot that day. The very thought of that day made me shudder.
Estella said, “What is the matter? Are you scared again?”
“I should be if I believed what you said just now,” I replied.
“Then, you are cowardly. Miss Havisham will soon be expecting you at your old post, though I think that may be laid aside now. Let us walk round the garden once again and then go in. You shall be my page and give me your shoulder.”
Her handsome dress trailed on the ground. She held it in one hand. With the other hand she tightly touched my shoulder as we walked. We walked round the ruined garden twice or thrice and it seemed to me to be in the bloom. If the green and yellow weeds that grew in the cracks of the walls had been the most precious flowers in the world, I could not have cherished them more.
We were almost the same age, but she seemed older because she was more poised. She was beautiful and she had the manner of a woman who knew herself to be beautiful. It tortured me in the midst of my delight at being with her, but I still felt that Miss Havisham intended us for each other.
At last, we went back into the house. There, I heard with surprise that my guardian had come down to see Miss Havisham on business and would come back to dinner. The candles had been lighted in the old wintry room. Miss Havisham was in her chair, waiting for me.
It was like pushing the chair itself back into the past when we began the slow tour round the ashes of the bridal feast. But in this room, so full of death, Estella looked more beautiful than ever before. I was more deeply enchanted than I had ever been.
The hours melted away in no time. Now it was time for dinner to be taken. We stopped near the centre of the long table and Miss Havisham stretched out one of her withered arms and rested her hand upon the yellow cloth. As Estella looked back over her shoulder before going out at the door, Miss Havisham kissed her. There was terrible intensity in the gesture as she made it.
Once Estella had gone and we were alone. Miss Havisham whispered in my ear, “Isn’t she beautiful, graceful, well-grown? Do you admire her?”
Before I could speak something, Miss Havsiham drew my head close down to her as she sat in her chair.
She said, “Love her.
Then, she cried, “How does she use you?”
But before I could reply, she repeated, “Love her,” with passionate eagerness that I had never heard her use before.
“Hear me, Pip, I adopted her to be loved. I bred her and educated her to be loved. I developed her into what she is that she might be loved. So, love her.” she seemed extremely agitated.
Mr Jaggers came into the room and Miss Havisham hid her feelings and became calm again. She sent us to have dinner, while she remained as always in her own room.
I stayed at Miss Havisham’s till nine o’clock. While, I was leaving, she asked me to meet Estella ‘s coach when she came to London on her way to Richmond. I promised to do so.
I had not once thought of Joe. I remembered to tell my guardian that I thought that Orlick was the wrong person to be appointed as porter.
I was so full of my high and great emotion for Estella that I never considered how low and small I was keeping away from Joe. The main reason for this was that Estella was contemptuous of him. Hardly had a day gone when the thought of Joe did bring tears to my eyes, but they soon dried. I was growing up; I was growing to be man of the world.
As soon as I reached London I sent Joe a present. It contained a barrel of oysters.
After having dinner that night I met Herbert and said, “I have something important to tell you.”
“Go ahead, Pip.”
“I admire Estella; I love her; I adore her,” said I.
He was not surprised.
“Aren’t you surprised?” said I.
“No,” said Herbert.
“But I never told you,” said I.
“You have never told me when you have got your hair cut, but I have enough sense to see it. You have always adored her, ever since I have known you. You brought your adoration and your portmanteau here together,” said Herbert.
Herbert then told me that he was engaged to be married. The name of his fiancee was ‘Clara’. He stated that he must make money quickly so that they might be married.
I received a letter from Estella telling me the day and time of her arrival in London. I was restless and impatient all day. I saw her lovely face through the window; she seemed more beautiful than ever.
“Where are you going to live in Richmond?” said Estella.
“With a lady there, who will take me to dances and parties. She will show me to people and show people to me,” said I.
As we drove through London, I pointed out where I lived with Matthew Pocket.
“It’s not far from Richmond,” I said, “and I hope I can come and see you sometimes.”
“Oh, yes,” she replied. “Miss Havisham says you can come whenever you wish.”
“I’m surprised that she let you leave her,” said I.
“It’s part of her plan,” Estella said rather sadly, “I have to go and see her regularly of course, Pip.”
It was the time she called me Pip. I was delighted; I was on cloud nine. She saw my delight indeed; she missed nothing but smiled.
We talked about London, about the palaces we passed on either side of the road. The great city was almost new to her, for she had never left Miss Havisham’s neighbourhood until she had gone to France.
She had merely passed through London on her way there and back. I asked if my guardian had any control over her. She stated that my guardian had no control over her.
I could see that she was interested in attracting me. She made herself charming and made me listen to her. I should have been flattered. In fact, this did not make me any happier because I knew she felt no real tenderness for me. She could win hearts and break them much as she pleased.
Soon we came to Richmond. It had the great house where Estella was to live in. It was a staid old house that had been built long ago. There were old trees in front of the house cut in formal fashion. They seemed to me to be dead. Perhaps they would soon drop and go the silent way of the dead who had loved long ago in this old mansion.
Two servants came out and Estella said goodnight.
I took a coach and came back to Hammersmith and Herbert. I was both happy and miserable. Still, Estella was not fully attracted towards me. I was more miserable than happy. Sometimes I wished that I had never left Joe and the forge.
