Some people attract negative people to their lives like moths to a flame. Are you one such person? Do you feel that your family, friends, colleagues etc are very negative and constantly keeps you down? Would you like to know why you are attracting negativity and how you can stop it? If yes, then this chapter is must for you.
There are some very common reasons why you could be a negativity-magnet. You may not like some of the reasons, but if you can take a cold, hard look at yourself and accept that some changes are necessary, your own level of happiness will increase multi-fold.
Negativity begets negativity
Simple, yet true. If you are a negative person yourself, and suffer from mistrust, dishonesty, disloyalty, jealousy, temper tantrums etc, there is a good chance that the people you attract to your life would be just like you. Also, your lens would be so distorted that everywhere you look, you would see a projection of your own negative qualities. Nothing would ever seem right for you anymore.
If this rings a bell with you, then first of all we would like to congratulate you on two things. One, for being honest enough with yourself to admit this as a possibility. It must have taken a lot of courage. And two, for being ready and able to change your world by changing yourself.
Once you have realized that you have a role in making your own world so cloudy, there is hope yet. Please take a moment to list down the top negative qualities you see commonly among the people around you. And then admit to yourself which all of these are your own qualities. Once you know this, you can start your journey towards correcting them. If you are extremely jealous, you can start adopting an attitude of abundance, and learn to feel genuinely good for the other person’s good fortune. And you can turn it to a motivating factor that could fuel you to improving your own life. If you are very disloyal, try standing up for others from now on. It involves a lot of trust but the good news is, you can start small and work your way up. Once you learn to be loyal to someone or something, you will be closer to having loyalty as your default response. If dishonesty is your problem, then realizing that each time you lie or cheat, you are accumulating bad karma which will eventually catch up with you, could be a good starting point. And whether you believe in karma or not, you need to know that people can easily pick it up when you are lying. When you boast or lie, most people will know it intuitively and through your body language. But most of the time, they won’t tell you that.
Becoming a better person with better values will have the twin effect of making people love you more and making you love people more. Since the lens has changed, the view of the world would change as well. You will start seeing how positive the people in your life really are.
Passive nature
If passivity is the norm for you, then you may find that more and more people take advantage of you. If you cannot say ‘No’ to manipulation, bullying or abuse, then you are giving a green signal to aggressive, dishonest and downright rude people to control you. The more you put up with, the more you will have to put up with. You need to learn to be assertive. Assertiveness is your only hope in dealing with these situations.
