Man is influenced by various external and internal factors which include not only the effects of our own actions but also to which we are subjected by persons/factors not related to you. Infact, personal resistance of submission to an event/factor or else a compromise with such odd happenings effects every one according to one’s nature of temperament.
All individuals do not, rather cannot, react to an upset or problem in a uniform way. Certain people accept realities of life in casual manner, some take them rather seriously, whereas others can easily laugh them away. Different reactions and impacts reveal the true nature of a person, as to how, when and where, and above all, why he reacts.
Some people are not averse to suggestions, even if unpalatable, some discard even sincere advice, even if that be beneficial for them, and some listen patiently to what others have to say. This variable approach can be compared to the fable of ‘Elephant and the blind persons.’
We view life and its problems from our own view-point unmindful of the fact that our opinion/vision could be biased of one-sided. Life is a long span of joys, problems and trivialities which are caused by us or by those around us. We cannot have control over our actions, averments and resultant reactions.
It may be pointed out that man is a unit and when such units are combined society emerges. So, society is made up of men, and it serves to meet hopes and aspirations of men. ‘Man is born free but everywhere he is in chains implies that freedom of man is conditioned and governed by certain rules, tenets, regulations, ethical values, moral and social bondages and, it is in the interest of man himself, not only to abide by the rules, customs and traditions of the society in which he lives and is an inseparable part thereof, but also to induce his other fellow beings to honour his obligations to society.
Our intention is not, in the least to sermonize of teach any social science but to emphasize on the point that most of our mental and physical disorders emanate from society and its rules. We are bound by the rules which we made ourselves, for our own benefits and comforts but, when the social rules lose their relevance, they must be amended or modified or replaced by better ones. A dynamic society is not like a pond, it is like a flowing river.
Causes of Disorders
1 Society (Social causes)
2. Family and Relations
3. Professional
4. Monetary (Economic and Financial Causes)
5. Psychic
6. Sexual
7. Natural upsets
When all these probable factors are combined, they give rise to tension which is the main monster in causing most of our mental and physical upsets often resulting in serious diseases.
All the aforesaid factors are considered to be the causes of most of our mental and physical ills which, in turn, account for tension, behavioural disorders, mental agitation, schizophrenia and other psychic disorders, in addition to physical disorders. All the aforesaid disorders would be elaborated in the light of fall-out symptoms, as stated above.
Society, Family Relatives and Others
Family is the eternal home of civic virtues which means whatever good or bad habits we imbibe, generate in the home itself, aided by external influences and traditions. There is and should be, at least, a semblance of some sort of regulatory discipline of some culture in the family which should be a cohesive entity of certain generally agreed norms. When everyone abides by the set-up norms of a family, hardly any problem arises but, when retrain family member tend to deviate or disagree or try to trust their opinion on other members, entire atmosphere in the family gets choked, tense and vitiated, as a consequence of which a pall of gloom, suspicion, distrust, decision and mistrust ensues, when the weak (whether financially, physically of mentally) ones are overpowered and degraded/slighted.
This all results in upsetting peace in the family where in reality, all should enjoy an equal status, under-privileged and weak are defended and the dominating ones are put down, restrained and not allowed to rule the roost. When family is under stress and strain, the society shall also be adversely affected because both are interdependent. Lady of the family and male-head have to bear the major part of brunt of such upheavels. A social being is not restricted and restrained by hard and fast social order, family fiat, but simply by strong will and sincere person. You can induce a person to be noble and cultured but cannot force him to act or behave in a decent and cultured manner.
Insatiated demands and desires, uncalled for restrictions, financial stringency, to encourage one person and to deride another, descriminatory attitude etc. are some of the causes that wreck not only families but even entire peace of family. If you want to lead a peaceful and happy family life, try to forget and forgive, ignore and neglect minor problems and difference.
For, all problems, sit-together, listen to every agitated member’s problems and try to solve the riddle. It has been often observed that mutual discussions, but not arguments, can help to return to normalcy and peace. If resort is taken to other the symptoms of the desease but not cure it. Solutions stop-gap methods or cut-shorts, you will be able to suppress also ought to be acceptable to all and should convince everyone. There is nothing like a consensus but, if that’s not feasible, at least all can agree or disagree and defer the problem.
If there is a problem, there is a solution also. If solution to family problems is not possible confide in a person who is sympathetic and sincere. As far as possible, all efforts should be made to solve all family problems within four walls of the house, not ignoring any member, listening to all member’s view-point with patience, not imposing your will on anybody. Your approach should be pursuasive and not imposing. If you are free from family problems, your mental tension will ease. You will feel relaxed and as a result thereof, you would be spared of agony of mental tensions which cause so many physical disorders and psychic upsets. This is a indirect way to keep healthy and happy. For health and happiness of the family, a healthy approach is of paramount importance. If the family is healthy, happy, prosperous, the society will also indentically be benefitted.
If you have sincere, accomodative, cooperative and sympathetic friends and relatives, you should feel rest asssured that you will never feel forlorn, secluded, helpless, desperate, as you can always bank upon their help and assistance. It is always good to have a few sincere friends. As for relations worries and problems for you. Every effort should be made to appreciate and accommodate feelings and view of such persons but, when there is hardly any sign of any improvement, it is better to snap relations, instead of torturing and tormenting yourself. You should not allow anyone to take you for a ride, to deride, disgrace and demean you.
It is an age-old saying that blood is thicker that water but, in practice, it has been often noticed that your own relatives would compel you to bite dust, and would be happy to see you in distress. This all is that impact of materialistic way of life where you are weighted in terms of money, but no depth of affection, attachment and sympathies. It is always better to have rapport with your equals—be they friends or relatives. Strained relations amongst relatives and friends is one of the causes of one’s mental tension and agony, with resultant suffering from diseases. Then wisdom demands of you to be choosy and selective—cling to what suits you, discard the one that pinches you (“when you weep, you weep alone but, when you laugh, whole world will laugh with you”).
If happiness and mental peace are at peril, be prepared to bargain for what suits you best, well-wishers. Be your own master. Look after the body, listen to senior and sincere counsel but, under no circumstance, compromise with the voice of your conscience and if you opt to choose otherwise, you are in for a great mental havoc. If you are at peace, try to retain it, for, if you are mentally disturbed, your entire physical, phychic, somatic peace and tranquility will stand imperilled, and you will reach a point of no return much to your own detriment.
Professional problems
By the term profession we mean the means adopted by you to earn your livelihood. In order to live, one has to earn and in order to earn, one has to adopt some profession in the form of service or business. Problems of both the disciples vary according to nature of work and the work-culture. If, in service, your are part of a set-up where some persons are your colleagues (equals), other below you (subordinates) and the rest above (superiors bosses or seniors).
The problem arises when you have to get the work done from others and also when you are called upon to do a job.Your personal and family problems must not come in the way of discharge of your duties nor should you carry back the problems of job to home, thus unduly disturbing peace of mind of your family members. Your acumen will be in as to how best you can keep up a proper balance between the two. Same holds good for the business people also. In the wake of earning money by the short-route and in the minimum possible time, people often sacrifice their health, comforts, joys and enjoyments of life, simply to fall a prey to serious disorders like, hypertension, loss of appetite, various digestive problems, constipation, total absence or lack of sleep, agitated behaviour, diseases pertaning to sitting postures. They fail to attend to even their chores, their routine activity is shattered.
In the mad race of life they hurry, worry and eating irregularly. In order to forget the day’s worries they resort to night-keeping night-watching, drinks, use of tobacco and drugs, sleeping pills, meat, food and spices. In short, they want to drown their worries and failures in a glass of whisky. This is no way to treat a problem. To run away from the scene of strife is not manly. Face the problem boldly, adopt a bold approach, face and accept challenges bravely and with grit and determination. Do not seek solace and refuge under artificial methods.
Avoid, at all costs and as far as you can, trouble shooters, mischief-mongers, back-biters and leg-pullers as, such odd persons, will relish creating problems, won’t let you work, disturb peace of mind and also adversely effect your work output. Avoid them, but not ignore or neglect. In any case, avoid the acute angle. Have a constructive and practical approach to problems, whether in your family or in the office. Adopt a conciliatory and sobre attitude towards problems of life, besides being persuasive, sympathetic and receptive. Americans often hold that they prefer get goers to ‘stickers’ which implies that persons with receptive, flexible and compromising nature are better than those who are rigid and averse to changes.
What we expect of others, let us first of all, search our own conscience—it may be that you may also be disliked by others due to your certain habits and traits. Others, too, have equal right to desist and avoid or evade our company due to our odd and rigid behaviour. Golden principle that ‘First deserve and then desire’ still holds good and shall hold good till eternity. If you have to choose between two extremes-compromise and confrontation-opt for the latter. Self-introspection will reveal that what qualities we demand from others, do we also lack in them. If extreme step is the only option left, after all wise methods have exhausted, then do not delay the most suitable recourse. Let it be fully understood that your management weighs and assesses. You and your capability as to how best you can ut up with your juniors because obeying orders of your seniors is a compulsion with you, and getting work out of your juniors is your duty, privilege and tact. So, strike a suitable balance between your seniors, equals and juniors and you will then observe that most of your mental agony, tension and stress will show a declining trend, and, as a result which, you will be happier, get-goer and satiated person.
Monetary Problems
In our present times money is considered to be the be-end and end-all of life. It is true that we cannot exist without money which is equally desired, though often not possessed, and needed by all of us, in order to manage our daily needs. Conflicts between the haves and have-nots is not a new phenomenon but, due to wrong outlook and approach.
It has been generally seen that a person having scanty and limited means would try to become rich, over working himself beyond his physical capacity. He sacrifices his comforts, health, family’s happiness, peace of mind and, above all, becomes a mental wreck. In order to earn more, one must have opportunity and congenial work-culture, sound health and expertise. Only a lucky few possess such virtues which are either God-given or acquired.
Let us agree that some persons cannot do what the rest of others could do and it is due to the basic fact that all not blessed with equal amount of energy, acumen, health status, peaceful family life, expertise and congenial environs. Our activities are not only guided by our own traits and qualities but by outside forces and outside influences. Nature has not equipped everyone with the same qualities and capabilities, hence to say that ‘A’ works better than ‘B’ is only matter of academic interest and importance. We should not be misled by pseudo and misplaced conceptions, as each person is not equipped with reasonal fortitude and luck. A person may seize an opportunity but may be lacking in good health and acumen to discharge a particular job or conversely, other person may be well-equipped to capably handle the job but his health and lack of expertise and acumen may dampen his chances. Both the persons are at the losing ends.
In Hindu mythology, stress is laid on ‘Contentment’ (Santosh) which clearly implies that one should feel contented with one’s life. But contentment does not mean that there should be no will or desire to improve one’s life. Efforts should always be directed to achieving further heights, fully keeping in view one’s capability. Do not spoil your health or gain wealth and that too, in a short time. Do not cultivate the desire to make a fast buck or turn a millionare overnight. Where others may have succeeded, we might face failures with disastrous consequences or else land ourselves in hospitals or mental asylums. In short, earning of more money is no doubt, a matter, of necessity but, in no way, should it cause tension, stress, physical and mental upsets. Curtail your desires; contain your expenses or, at least, try to confine the same with reasonable and accessible limits. Let not the mad-race for money and shatter your health, peace of your family. Be satisfied with what you have but do not try to pluck the fruit of a tree which is beyond your reach. Never should you sacrifice your health and happiness to earn more, as once you lose your health and happiness to earn more you will be total loser. If you continue to mourn over what your don’t have but others have, you will not only spoil your mental and physical health, but also put rest of the family members under stress and strain.
Psychic Disorders
Mental upsets generally emanate from stressful states, self-brooding, self-mortification, mental reservations, social disorders and upsets, family problems, service problems, sexual problems. Most of the problems have already been elaborated above. Psychic disorders lead to tension, headache, migraine, insomnia, pain in body, somnabulance (sleep walk), mental agitation, angry behaviour, digestive problems, palpitation, heart attack, high blood pressure, paralysis, etc. Unless there is a cause, there cannot be any effect which is known as ‘Theory of Cause and Effect.’ All sorts of tensions, of whatever etiology, have some cause behind them and these, in turn cause physical disorders.
Following suggestions may help most of you to, at least reduce your tension of if at all it sets in, the magnitude may not be that horrifying and disruptive.
Try to relax by laughing away the problems by engaging yourself in some work like reading, writing , viewing T.V. and listening to music.
Share your worries and anxieties with anyone of your confidance and try to translate his/her suggestions into practice, as far as possble within the framework of your competence and acceptability. If you have someone who can patiently listen to you, you will be able to unload your mental burden. Your confidant can be your wife, some elderly person, friend or relative. Other method, to vomit out all your mental tensions, is write down on a paper. This method is preferable to the earlier method because certain problems you won’t like to be divulged to anyone.
- Do not involve yourself unnecessary or meddle with much events of persons who do not concern you of still worse, which are likely to upset your mental peace.
- Corpse posture (Shavasana) should be done to ease mental tension and physical fatigue.
- In the morning do Pranayama and some light and sustainable exercise or, else, go in for a walk in the morning everyday, barring odd weather conditions.
- Never sit idle, but also do not overwork to exhaust yourself. Work when you work, relax when your are tired. There must be proper balance between work and relaxation (rest)—neither should ever be sacrificed for the sake of another. But never idle away time.
- Books can be your best friends—they can let you pass your time, disseminate knowledge, take away your tense moments, educate and recreate you.
- Learn innocence from a child and wisdom from your elders. Do not run after mirage and do entertain and nurture fantasy dreams which, if not fulfilled, will down you emotionally, physically and mentally.
- Occasional outings, with family members, will go a long way in relieving you of mental tensions and you will be able to win over your physical disorders too.
Sexual Disorders and Upsets
A legendary psycho-analyst has mentioned that sex is the basic trait of all human beings. Sex plays an important role in married life. Sex, is one of the basic necessities of life but, by no means, the only necessity. Sex life starts from adolescence and lasts up to old age even. In some cases even young people do not have any sexual urge and, on the contrary, certain aged persons are sexually active. Too much and too often indulgence in sex is too bad but, to suppress is, still more dangerous. Some chronic maids and bachelors, in the absence of sex urge, become sexually distracted or else they turn impotent. Impotence, nymphomania, sexual mania, sexual perversion’s or homosexuality, incest and lesbianism are some of the problems that one generally comes across. AIDS phobia has given rise to many perverted practices in the western countries where extra-marital relations are almost common now.
If husband and wife do not enjoy sound, safe and need-based sexual enjoyment, their mutual family relations tend to be disturbed. Even some homes have been shattered, divorces invoked and extra-marital relations established. Moral constraint is the only way to get rid of this problem. Total absention or too much indulgence are two poles apart. Let there be a proper balance between the two. Read some standard book on sex and marital relations, as sex ignorance is a dangerous matter. In case of any such problem confide in your physician and do not conceal or hold back any fact. His advice will serve to guide you in the right perspective. Educate youself about sex problems, V.D. hazards of extra-marital relations and adultery.
In any case, if your have any complex sex problem refrain from cheap aphrodisiac medicines, so profusely publicised by quacks and self-styled ‘doctors’ and never adhere to or be guided by their advice. Instead of that, always approach your family physician or a qualified sex specialist.
Freely and without any inhibition of mortification, discuss sex matters with your wife and sort out mutually all problems which hopefully, can be resolved and sorted out with ‘Give and take’ intention. If both the parties fail to solve the problem, let the family physician suggest and devise some way out.
Natural Upsets
Nature is like mother to all the beings but when she gets agitated, especially when it has already sounded warning signals, its wrath is too severe to be encountered. Sudden weather conditions trigger many disorders such as, dyspepsia, flatulence, constipation, acidity, gastralgia, audio-visual problems, cough, colds, diarrhoea, dysentery & heat-stroke. We cannot change course of weather but we can, at least, resort to certain safeguards so that impact of fall-out of such conditions is, at least, arrested if not totally eliminated. Precaution is the best form of defence and timely and corrective steps will cut short severity and intensity of the disorder.
Eat only those foods which the nature has offered. Any deviation of resort to off season vegetations is brought with dangerous consequences. Be fully wrapped in winters. Do not get wet in rainy season and avoid exposing your body to heat. In rainy season, water gets polluted. If boiled water is taken, it will stop water-borne disorders. Any food, taken in excess, at any time and in any season, is an open invitation to digestive disorders. Keep your excretory organs in good humour.
Nature is your best friend, if its rules are not flouted. Cling to nature and its beauties. The more you go away from nature, the more you expose yourself to hazards. Nature has plenty to offer and it is upto the user how far and how best one can avail himself of the fruits of nature. Most of our health problems arise due to our own indiscretory acts of omission and commission, insofar as our food habits and unnatural way to lead life are concerned. Man continues to abuse nature and as a consequence thereof, continues to torment and harm his body, mind and disposition. Bad habits do die hard but there is always an ample scope and flexibility to improve and modify our habits in a sensible and useful way.
Other Causes of Mental and Physical Upsets
Indian sages had spent their lifetime and energy in analysing deducing causes that could deviate a person from the righteous path and the deviator ultimately would land himself into a cob-web of mental and physical abrasions which may be mentioned as follows :
(1) Desire, (Kama), (2) Anger (Krodha), (3) Avarice (Lobha), (4) Attachment (Moha), (5) Arrogance (Ahankar), (6) Jealousy (Irshya), (7) Discrimination (Dwesha), (8) Contempt (Ninda, to despise, to censure or to libel).
If one can avoid all these, there will be no diseases or disorders and life will be charming and interesting. Yoga, Dhyan, Tratak, control on diet, dedication to work, to society and feeling of love for every thing in the universe, can keep you fit mentally and physically.
