As a psychological compensation his mind said that he had to become some glorious person in life to redeem his tragic young years. He left for Vienna leaving behind his entire past including the sister Paula. He hoped that the orphanage stipend would see her through or some aunt would take charge of her as usually happened in the families.
From the family Adolf could draw little inspiration from. His grandfather was a shoe maker and his father a lowly government employee. So, Adolf had to create passions strong enough to trivialise the significance of his humble past and his own painful and unhappy past.
Adolf himself wrote that he had been deprived of his mother’s love and the adverse circumstances her death had thrown him into had become his new mother. During that difficult period of adversities he had sensed the dangers, he had earlier no idea about. The twin dangers that posed biggest threat to the survival of the German nation were—Marxism and the Jew, according to Adolf Hitler.
When Adolf set out for Vienna his friend Kubjec accompanied him. Kubjec was interested in the music and Adolf’s mind was set on the painting. The two rented a small room in Stumperguas locality.
Adolf was artistically ambitious person. This trait spilled over to other interests later on. In the company of his friend Adolf’s interest in the music also was aroused. He used to sing in the church choir back in the village days. So, he was not completely a stranger to the music. He used to play on piano. Inspired by his creative talents he also wrote songs, poems and drama scripts.
Kubjec had managed to get admission in the Music Academy of Vienna. So he was emotionally more secure and went back to Linz in 1908 to meet his relatives. Adolf did not go.
Sister Paula’s memory used to haunt his mind very often. How he would have wished to see and talk to her. But how could Adolf face her? He was ashamed of himself for abandoning her when she needed him the most. As the elder brother it was his moral duty to support her when the two had been orphaned. And he had departed for Vienna leaving Paula to her fate. Adolf was weighed down by the guilt feeling.
After the departure of his friend Adolf stayed mostly in the room alone. He read books on his favourite subjects namely history and philosophy besides doing painting exercise. In the evenings he would go out to roam the streets.
His mind was restless. Besides the abandonment of Paula one other thing hung heavy on his conscience. Adolf had lied to his mother that he was enrolled in the Painting Academy. His mother was dead now. He could not even seek her pardon. Kubjec had gone away to Linz. Adolf saw no point in living in that room with no definite purpose.
So, much before Kubjec returned Adolf Hitler vacated the room and left without any trace.
The harsh years
Adolf now was in the worst phase of his life. He was a twenty year old unemployed with nothing coming up. There was no ray of hope. The dress he wore was in tatters and his pockets empty. Sometimes he went hungry for two days on a stretch. At such times he would go to the public library and read perhaps hoping for the knowledge to ease his hunger.
In the evenings he used to sit in a tea-coffee shop and talk political affairs. The people used to be impressed by his political knowledge and theories. Some admirer would order tea or coffee for him as a tribute. It helped Adolf survive. He had a sharp brain that cried for favourable environment to blossom.
But the circumstances were not kind for Adolf. Vienna was a city of callous society. No one cared for anyone else. The greed and the selfishness ruled the lives of its citizens. Adolf was homeless. To spend the night he would select a bench in some park near the lamp post, retrieve pieces of canvas paper from his worn out bag along with brushes and colours, begin painting like a possessed and kept it up till he fell asleep. Thus, Adolf went through the most frustrating five years of his life.
Adolf was in the Fabian town. Some days he worked as a labourer and on the others he drew small sketches or paintings to sell. He was living on whatever such odd jobs made him.
Even during that tragic period his basic character did not fade out. His love for artistic and literary exercises continued to manifest. Adolf befriended a Fabian man who used to quarrel with him often and disagreed on several points. He learnt a lot from that man. Adolf continued to read by whatever means possible to lay his hands on books. He also attended music festivals and programmes. Study of architecture had become his new passion, perhaps because it gave him some psychological consolation as his own life and career appeared to be in ruins. For his private passions he often has to go without food.
Adolf studied the books in all seriousness and his mind absorbed the lessons therein. He was physically impoverished but his mind was constantly getting richer with the knowledge of books. Many a time he had become so desperate that he could do anything for a few pieces of bread. He would wonder why the fate was playing such cruel joke with him.
He realised that the social activities should not come to an end with emotional feelings because it was meaningless and ridiculous. The real important thing was to establish healthy social conditions based on the spirit of patriotism and nationalism, Adolf concluded.
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