No part of the world that doesn’t have children as denizens. And when it comes to tiny tots, their pranks, talkative demeanour, wicked ways, disobedience and maverisms, are taken for granted. Some scientists classify extreme of such conduct as ‘delinquency.’ A lackadaisical attitude of parents, and tolerance of their ward’s hey ways make this delinquency all the more sanguine and significant.
Nuances of child behaviour
All parents and guardians dream of making their children capable and successful. But wishes are not horses. Unless we know the fundamentals of child psychology, and plan out our children’s course of life accordingly, these wishes can’t be realised. Children need to be guided in a way that suites their temperament and helps them identify with their environment. Putting child’s behaviour under scanner can help us know their plus and minus. This knowledge can help us take corrective and remedial measures.
It is universally accepted that childhood is key to adulthood, and the metre that develops in infancy lasts the whole life long. Understanding child behaviour can guide us to the kind of environment that would be most apt for it. And environment decides what the child will do as adult.
Children are angles in family
A minimum of a quarter the day must be spent in the company of sages. If such company is not available, then play with children. The young ones are saints in the precincts of household. They may sulk, but harbour no enmity. Spare at least an hour’s time from your day’s schedule—to be in the midst of little angels. This will give you peace and happiness in full measure.
—Muni Tarun Sagar Maharaj
Not too long ago, parents, ignorant as they were of their children’s ways, were unable to mend them. But now the time has changed. Thanks to small families consequent upon awareness of family planning, parents have enough time and space to think for their posterity. Those guardians who understand child’s behaviour, bring up their wards on scientific lines. Parents know it too well that children are tender hearted and extremely sensitive. Impressions of infancy persist on them for rest of their life. So to says, parents now realise that their child’s future—good or bad—depends signi-ficantly on quality of parenting.
Child delinquencies
It is commonly observed that children persist with their bad habits/manners even when they are fully aware of harms accruing there from. Their hey ways mount when parental supervision is lax or lacking. Surprisingly many youngsters play foul merely to attract attention. For then, guardians are forced to attend them. Children with normal behaviour, generally speaking, are more apt to be ignored in family. But these very children, when furious, draw prolific care and attention. Hence the surmise of psychologists that children become problematic to attract attention. Such antics are considered by some as pathological behaviour. Seeds of acrimony which sprout in growing children, have varying survival rates. Some fading off, others mutating to a different kind or shade. There is no country in the world, say psychologists, where juvenile delinquency doesn’t hold ground. Albeit, its severity may vary from one place to another.
There in no set limit to which a child can stray. Its foibles vary with time and place. Yet there are some common streaks. Like, for example, telling lies. Tiny tots, being cerebrally immature, can scarce distinguish between a lie and a truth. In their ignorance they don’t mind doing what shouldn’t be done. The only thought that seems to rule them is that of mimicry or imitation. Some children delight in inflated self esteem. They, it seems, are restless to create a niche for themselves. Hence they tell lies to make their point. This dichotomy though isn’t limited to juniors. Even elderly people are seen to be boastful and beguiling in nature.
Such kids as resort to deceit for the purpose of misguiding and deceiving others, catering to their whims and fancy, and rejoicing at other’s expense; are rated as ‘delinquent’. Ditching and befooling too are pathological behaviour. These aberrations can be noted while children are at play. Some children, when they see their defeat imminent, act foul in a discreet manner. They may temper with score board or number tally to get one-up. Because, at that point of time, their sole objective is to win by hook or crook. Some children act big and smart to be accepted as leader in their group.
As hinted in foregoing, children may derelict in game of one-up-manship. They may steal. Dwelling on this aspect, famed psychologist Gopalji Mishra ascribes stealing habit as child’s inability to discriminate between self and nonself. Whatever strikes their fancy, they reach out for it. For them this is no hiest, even as society deems such action as despicable. Indeed they do realise sooner or later that stealing is bad. That one shouldn’t steal, because it is a punishable offence. Yet, when greed comes calling, and they don’t see a straight way to their heart’s desire—they steal.
According to Dr. Mishra those who believe they can’t be caught, are more apt to steal than those who fear being caught in the act. Those who fear school, neglect homework and desire playing whole day long even at the cost of abstaining from their classes. Where main gates of school strictly watched, this may not be possible. Nevertheless—a child may as well leave home for school—but decide to stray elsewhere.
Try understanding a child
A child is shouting hoarse and play jumping. And there you are engrossed in your newspaper. You know well what lies there in the fine print. Yet you loose your cool and browbeat the child: ‘Don’t shout! Don’t disturb your father.’ And why not? Isn’t dad doing a great job? Reading newspaper! The precious pages costing Rs. 2. So, you very rightly snub that bundle of energy, stop the unstoppable and muffle expression of life. Indeed, you are a killer.
Ofcourse, this is not to say that one should tolerate pranks. Yet 99 out of 100, chances are you are over reacting, and if on those 99 occasions you exercise self restraint, be sure, child gets your silent massage. Children are excellent vibers. When you are tolerant, and put your foot down only once in a while, they obey instantly. Children have a good sense of balance and perspective.
Children have a mind of their own. Ways of their own. Try understanding them. You will soon notice that you share a striking rapport with them. Only the mad and the moron remain smug and ignore others’ point of view.
Children are a breeze of fresh air. A divine spark in our life and time. Respect them. Understand them.
—Osho
Kids in bad company, the back benchers in classes, and those crazy about movie and sports—are the ones who loiter here and there in school time. Indiscipline breeds absenteeism. Wasting school time in frivolous pursuits is childish. This can be checked if academic environs are made child friendly by, and teachers and guardians join hands in imparting moral education to their wards.
Some youngsters become violent to show off. While some create mess unintentionally. This second of the kind—like accidently running into something and breaking it—can’t be rated as bad behaviour. But throwing, dishevelling, and breaking thing proactively is offence and despicable. Jilted kids vent their ire against seniors by way and stealing, concealing or damaging things deemed precious. Households that enforce strict punitive measures on indiscipline, are seen to have relatively well behaved kids. Nevertheless they have a subconscious desire to revolt, which is kept in check by their guardian’s high handedness. Children so suppressed are more likely to grow up into adults of questionable character. High handedness encourages children to be dishonest. Fear paves way for delinquency.
Families shorn of love and compassion raise children who believe in deceit. Some are pushed into dishonesty upon seeing their parents behaving in biased manner. It is logical to ask, what are the cardinal cause of juvenile delingency. Answer is simple. The cause are : age, size of family, environment, filial circumstances, lineage etc.
Most of the vices are conceived in childhood period. These develop to perfection in teenage. Growing children pine for peer approval/acceptance. And, significantly, they tend to believe that a deviant behaviour can help them realise this aim.
Your duties and responsibilities
Take care, children are mirror images of their parents. When our sages said: Son is soul’s progeny, they didn’t imply son alone. What they meant to say was offsprings. Haven’t you ever looked hand at your childhood photographs, and marvelled. If snapshots of a person from childhood to old age are put in a row, it looks incredible that they connote one and the same person, children—whatever they be—they are your own reflections. For them you (the parent), and you alone—are squarely responsible.
—Swami Vedant Tirth
Acting big helps them impress their colleagues. Yet, girls are less likely to be churlish as compared to boys.
Quoting from studies, Paterson clarified that as boys get greater liberties in comparison to girls, they have greater chances of being haughty as compared to opposite sex. More so because misdeeds of boys are generally ignored in our society, where as those of girls are not. Hence the difference in level of delinquency in two sexes.
Takman and Reagan observed that abnormalities of behaviour were linked to the size of families. Bigger the family, greater the chances of deviant behaviour. Smaller the family, saner the child. One reason for this could be vibe and proximity of parents which in easily available to a child in a small family. Consequently, children try becoming like their parents and thereby, remain away from delinquency.
Remember
❑ Let’s remember children are but children. Elders’ aught to look at them with care and compassion. It’s wisely said: Elders must forebear even as children frolic.
❑ Children need to be explained moral and ethical values. What is expected of them, and what ideals should be followed by them. At the same time they should be warned of dangers befalling immoral ways. This would check their straying. If not nipped in bud, evils increase their stranglehold on child. So much so, it may grow up to become a criminal.
❑ A good company saps lethargy of mind, and fills dialect with truth. It parries sins, pleases the heart and spreads fame in all directions.
❑ Like spell of magic and mesmerism, is children’s behaviour. It’s like squeezing the world into a tiny hand ball.
