As long as the child stays at home and enjoys parental love, care and affection, when his reasonable demands and needs are met, he is not likely to face any problem. This situation demands only a caring affection. But, when sense of neglect creeps in, the youngone exhibits his stressful state by rejecting whatever is offered, throwing away articles, disobeying even orders. He refuses to eat, demand things which are beyond the reach of parents. The situation worsens when he has lost his parents and nothing is made available to him even if just and reasonable.
Since the child is dependent upon his caretakers, he can resist for a shortwhile only. When stress cannot be expressed by way of normal behaviour or demands an implicit repugnance develops, when he chooses to remain away from home, skip school classes, steal things, fall into bad company or even fall into the trap of wayward classmates or anti-social elements. He may imbibe bad habits. His behaviour would be offensive and repelling. Such neglected children prefer to stay away from home, for most of the time, than to toy at home where they are neglected and humiliated.
When a child is reprimanded, insulted or rebuked, or even bashed up in the presence of his friends, relatives and others, he will either be offensive or else evade company at home. The young one is too immature to realise the effects of his behaviour. He needs to be treated with care, love affection and assurance.
It may be remembered that whenever any child shows withdrawn, agitated, angry and offensive behaviour, it should be immediately thought that he has been over taken by stress. Certain parents show utmost imprudence when they either start treating him too harshly or start pampering him. He is not mature enough to ventilate his grievances but he often expresses has displeasure by way of odd and unusual behaviour which must, at once, be regarded as an alarming bell for the parents. A child cannot be preached and sermonized but can be won over by an extra dose of care, affection, love and attachment. It is not good to publicly denounce and demean a child nor should he be expected to show wisdom of an adult. You cannot reform a wayward, nasty, and obstinate child by iron discipline but can surely bring him round by sympathetic persuasion.
If a child suffers from stress at the young age, it will recoil on him throughout his life as childhood impressions leave deep imprints on their subconscious mind. Not only his studies, behaviour would get adversely affected, but his growth would also get retarded. Psychological approach to a child’s changed behaviour is all the more
necessary. Children of elite class suffer more due to neglect than those of poor families, despite the fact that the former have plenty of vast and varied avenues to develop their talent. Loneliness is the main factor amongst rich parents. Children who, due to many affluence related factors, have better chances to go the wrong way. The poor children suffer under sense of lassitude and deprivation and the affluence of rich children forces them to join hands with anti-social elements who are using them as drug carriers. Their poverty and innocence are their drawbacks which are exploited by unscrupulous people.
So, if you desire to keep your children satisfied, happy and obeying every effort should be exerted that their reasonable demands are met, without any delay. They get tense when their demands (even if most reasonable and just) are turned down. Even a child has self-respect and has the right to be loved, looked after well and, above all, motivated and guided in a friendly, suave and persuasive way. Parents can also seek help, from children’s classmates and teachers in this respect. Behavioural disorder is the first symptom of stressful state and as soon as the same is noticed, it should be dealt with and treated, failing which a pandora’s box of further complications would open. Try to nip the evil in the bud.
Parents spend plenty of money on welfare of their children but forget mere provision of facilities or providing funds therefore, may suffice, because personal care is valued more by their siblings. If they find solace elsewhere, then something is lacking with parental love and care which cannot be substituted by even huge amount of money.
Try the following suggestions as a stress relieving exercise with regard to children :
- Cultivate active habits—balancing properly and propor-tionately their activities, studies, play and entertainment, food and rest timings.
- Avoid bossing over them and keeping them under iron discipline or giving them a loose and long rope.
- Approach should be a blend of reasonable discipline, love care, affection and attachment.
- Meet reasonable and just demands, without giving them even a faint impression that they can, at will, force their opinions or decisions on you or else their aspirations, hopes and demands are bound to be yielded.
- Provide them company which, if not possible, should be compensated by free mixing with their friends and classmates, occasional visits to relatives, movie watching games (indoor or outdoor), children magazines etc.
- An outing a month will have salutary effect on a child or an annual visit to some hill station or place of interest or a relative.
- Having food outside your home will change the tense atmosphere and also that child’s preferences for a particular food item, should be met with, so as to avoid monotony.
- Children should be listened to patiently and intently so far as their problems are concerned. In this respect elder children, classmates and teachers can lend a helping hand.
- Look after child’s health and immediately attend to his health problems. If necessary, a doctor’s help may be sought.
- Congenial atmosphere at home, receptive and sympathetic approach will spare the innocent one the agony of deprivation and neglect.
- Ask for preferences of your child with regard to food dress, reading and entertainment etc.
- Never humiliate your child, rather try to understand his mental problem and try first to find out and then remove the factors that were responsible for his changed behaviour.
