Old age is enigma and a burden-some episode when one is not able to cope with elements of loneliness, deprivation and neglect. An old person is required to be looked after, cared and treated like a child. It is a stage of life when physical organs malfunction, digestion slows down, movements get limited and restricted, friends and colleagues fade away, wife and children turn a blind eye even to just demands, financial resources deplete—to say the least, you are left alone to fight a lonely battle for your survival. How would you treat a child, if he were in the similar state of mind and body? Do not overlook and ignore the limitations of an old and aged person. He, too, had served, nurtured and looked after all your needs until you were employed and even married. Do not ignore following changes which are common occurrences in old age.
- Gradually failing bodily strength.
- Not so good health, or even protracted illness.
- Indigestion and limited movements due to some physical infirmity.
- Forgetful memory or temporary memory failure.
- Agitated and snobbish behaviour; getting angry and taking everything as an amiss.
- Sense of loneliness and neglect, deprivation and worth-lessness.
- Taedium vitae (Feeling of tired of life).
- Lack of financial resources and resultant dependence on others.
- Lack of company or total absence of any body.
- Insulting behaviour of other family members.
- Treating old persons as a burdensome, useless and worthless creatures.
- Secluding them from family and social customs.
- Insulting and deriding old contacts and friends.
- Intolerant attitude on voice of dissent.
In young age there is enough strength in the body and mind to stand bravely to odd situations but, in old age, there is a declining trend—a natural consequence of fading spirits and initiative. The above mentioned changes in behavioural attitude stem from various socio-economic, psychological physical reasons, out of which some are creations of the changing times and approach of life and some are foisted due to maladjustment. The old and aged person reels under stress and strain, cannot ventilate his feelings or displeasure, is denied the right of speak, intervene or dissent. The problem overawes men more than the women. The latter can engage themselves in household chores and, thus, lend a helping hand to rest of the inmates. In some houses, old women are treated shabbily but they prefer to eat an humble pie, either for the sake of family’s amity or due to certain compulsions or helplessness. Women have decidedly better shock-absorbing capacity and spirit of adjustment than their male counterparts.
Complications of stress in old age
- Mental agitation.
- Loss of appetite and poor digestion or even aversion to food.
- Lack or loss of sleep.
- Fatigue, even on slightest movement.
- Pain in body, particularly in joints.
- Easily amenability to infections and hypersensitivity to outside impressions.
- Lack of interest and a sense of withdrawal. Restricted movements or want of exercise.
- Respiratory, cardiac and blood related problems.
- Constipation or loose motions, even when there is minimal departure from normal eating pattern.
- Diabetes.
- Urinary problems.
- Muscle wasting.
- Reduced number of stress glands.
- Hearing impairment and staggered and incoherent speech.
- Reduced taste or else food fads for certain selected eatables.
- Impaired balance, tottering gait.
- Loss of hair or even total boldness (Alopecia).
- Impaired eye-sight, eye-strain and disturbed visual accommo-dation.
- Loss of elasticity of skin and also rough and dry skin.
- Malfunctioning of endocrine glands.
- Hyper or Hypotension.
- Anaemia.
The above mentioned symptoms are the resultant ends of stress, or can say when the said factors/symptoms combine, they also cause onset of stress. Most of the complaints can be treated with a balanced out look, regulated life style, sense of compromise, physical activity, in conformity with one’s capacity, meaningful use of time, constructive approach to life and self-management by sheer judicious discretion.
It has been observed, stress is caused by the above mentioned factors which, when managed properly and in good time, especially through self-discipline, self-control, spirit of abjuration and sacrifice and proper understanding and mutual trust, can help to relieve stressed conditions.
It is necessary to point out that medicines can perform but a very little or negligible role in containing the above symptoms which are an offshoot of stress or can even cause stress. No doubt that significant utility of medicinal treatment can neither be denied nor underrated but if mental stress is eased, the role of medicines becomes secondary. It is always better to seek guidance and advice from a skilled geriatrician who is better equipped to look into all your ageing problems, including the stressful states.
Steps to Dispel Stress
Points to relieve stress during old age :
- Restoration of organ functioning by some sustainable exercise which must not exceed your capacity to perform. Regular morning walk can soothe your agitated nerves, apart from activating your organs.
- Pranayama, morning walk and yogasana will take away sense of fatigue, mental distraction, anger, agitation, repulsive and retributive impulses. These devices are meant to keep in order your body, mind and intellect.
- Keep busy by taking interest in outdoor (domestic) work, engaging in a part/full time job, visiting daily a library and reading room, in gardening, teaching and looking after your grand children and, if possible, meeting their minor expenses.
- Cultivate habit of reading journals, books, periodicals, magazines or, still better, start writing articles on varied subject for different interest groups.
- Spend time with your grand children and make friends with them to such an extent that they take you as their friend. You will forget the worries and anxieties if you could absorb yourself into their innocence and unbiased attachment. Since an old man is also akin to children, you will find better involvement with them.
- Law of catharsis is a brilliant device to win over and forget your stressful state. You can write your feelings and reactions on some paper(s) as if you are ventilating your unexpressed and dormant feelings to one of your confidants. By doing so, you will vomit out all your mental reservations on the paper.
- Your wife or daughter could prove to be your best patient confidants but apt and attentive listening is a specialised art which only a selected few possess. You may have plenty of time, at your disposal, to relate your tale of woes, but others may not have time to listen to you, hence to overcome this problem, it is better to pen down what you cannot express in any other way.
- Adopt a conciliatory, constructive, sympathetic and realistic approach to life. There may be other elderly and aged persons who might have been worse placed at than you, hence avoid highlighting your own problems. If you have no time or ability to solve others problem, you should also not expect them to come to your rescue when you need their help.
- Do not be ever a person of complaining nature. Only a judicious, pragmatic and optimist approach can stand you in good stead. It is always better to reconcile than to confront, through abject submission may be an act of wisdom, it really hurts yourself esteem. Compromise is totally different from submission. Family peace and amity ought to be achieved without sacrificing reasonable dictates of your conscience.
- Old age is not an end of life, it is a time for self introspection and a unique self-analysis exercise. Try to draw a balance sheet of your past life, based on the bitter and happy occasions of life and see and judge for yourself where you had erred. Did you get bouquets or brickbats or you received both of them in a sporting spirit?
- Very few people are lucky to lead an old age of their own way. You should learn how to manage problems by your own self, without depending too much on others. Younger generation has more problems to face and grapple with and old persons were lucky not to have faced such varied unfavourable situations. So, try to appreciate other problems also. It is unfair and unjust to burden the younger generation with (senile) worries and cares.
- You cannot turn the tide but can always strive and endeavour to swim with the tide—it will keep you smiling.
- You will be treated as a welcome elderly person, if you have enough money at your disposal, so that you do not burden the younger generation with your financial demands. If possible, help them in hour of their needs, but do not forget to keep enough funds to meet contingent expenses. It is a well thought out maxim to save something for the rainy day. Saving is done by sacrificing your needs but, then, such a saving is not a bad bargain.